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Battle of the Planets (Transcript)

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Opens on Mars, and pans across, showing numerous gigantic ziggurats on the red planet's surface. A spindly-legged, insectoid Irken probe is perched on the ledge of the third pyramid; as it scans the scans the Martian terrain and captures some pictures.

Its task complete, the probe launches off the top of the pyramid and lands on all six spindly legs, churning up a dust cloud around it. It gets up and you can see an Earth rover in the background nearby. Zoom in on the Irken probe, then switch to the view of the Martian landscape seen through the probe's photo receptors: its HUD flashes as it takes photos of Mars' geography.

The probe makes another leap, causing some debris to hit the Earth rover's camera, which malfunctions and shorts out. The Irken probe launches into space and the words MEANWHILE... appear on a black screen.

Cuts back to space, where the Irken Armada is flying around Blorch in full force; at the center of the swarm of Shuvvers, Spittle Runners, Rippers and Viral Tanks is the Massive, like a bloated queen ant surrounded by her drones. cut inside the Massive itself, where tens of thousands of Irkens are gathered in a... well, massive... room in the depths of the flagship.

Red: Welcome, planetary conversion team! (cuts to the ship with purple and red standing on a platform). Welcome to Blorch, the latest addition to the Irken Empire and most importantly the first planet to fall victim to our latest effort at universal conquest: Operation Impending Doom II!!

(cheering is heard from the vast assembly of enthusiastic Irkens below) Random Irken: Almighty Tallests rock!!

Red: Now, we erase the remaining organics (Red and Purple move closer to the railing of their platform) on Blorch, paving the way for... I dunno, maybe a... parking structure planet?

Purple (raises his hands): YEAH! PARKING STRUCTURE PLANET! (cheering is heard again)

Red: But first, we'd like to acknowledge the contributions of one very special soldier, without whom this victory - and those surely to come - wouldn't be possible! (cuts back to Purple)

Purple: Invader Zim! (the Planetary Conversion Team members begin cheering wildly a third time, but go quiet as Red starts talking again.)

Red: You see, if Zim hadn't been exiled to the far reaches of the galaxy, he would be here, with us, RUINING EVERYTHING!

Purple: And we all remember how he messed up Operation Impending Doom I! Am I right?

Random Irken: I don't!

Purple: Seize that guy! And uh... throw him out the airlock! (two guys with jet packs come flying up and head for the source of the "I don't". A long, protracted scream is heard from the perceived offender as the two guard fulfill their order. Purple and Red watch on in contentment.)

Purple: That was the wrong guy, but... that's okay! I think everyone gets the point, hm?

Red: So let's give a big cheer for... Invader Zim, for being SO far away! (everyone cheers for ZIM)

Another random Irken (clearly missing the point): Invader Zim ROCKS!

(suddenly red lights flash as an alarm goes off and everyone goes serious and quiet again. Flashes back to Red)

Red: Quiet everybody, quiet! (chuckles) We have a little surprise for you: It looks like we're getting a report from ZIM right now! Transfer to the main view screen!

(Flashes to the giant screen monitor and everyone is looking at the monitor with Zim on it, wearing a bear suit.)

Everyone cheers.

Zim: Well, thank you! How very well deserved of me! Invader Zim reporting in, sirs. (salutes)

Red: Yes... Greetings, Zim! Keeping busy, it looks like; doing us proud!

Zim: "Thank you, thank you. Yes, yes I am. I'm in a bear suit! (everyone cheers for bear-suit ZIM.) Please, enough! Following Invader Protocol, I've sent probes out to the surrounding planets to check them for potential use."

Red: Uh-huh... (like yes, go on in case you can't pronounce that)

Zim: Scans from a planet named "Mars" are intriguing. You can expect a full report when I have more information.

Purple (trying hard, along with Red, to keep themselves from laughing): Thank you... Invader Zim! Without your efforts out there, the (stops to laugh) entire operation would... (they stop and burst out laughing) surely crumble! (keep laughing deliriously)

Zim (oblivious to their laughing) Yes. Yes it would.

(Red and Purple finally get a hold on themselves)

Red: Let's hear it for Zim!

(everyone cheers as Zim draws himself up, salutes and signs off)

Purple (touching his head in contempt): Idiot.

Cuts to Zim's base, where he is watching the fuzzy black-and-white screen. Gets out of chair.

ZIM: TRUULY I am AMAZIIING! (removes hood of bear suit) How can they NOT cheer the very site of my progress?

(Zim walks out of the computer room, and into an elevator. He pushes a button on its control panel, then continues talking as it descends)

Zim: Still, I am becoming IMPATIENT with my incredibly subtle infiltration of this planet, and am growing ever hungrier to be the destruction of the humans - DESTRUCTION IS NICE!

Cuts back to the small probe seen at the beginning of the episode, catching fire as it re-enters Earth's atmosphere. Its claw-like appendages deploy as it is still flying. Cut to outside Zim's house, which has opened its roof, allowing the probe - along with several other ones just like it - to enter through the top of the house. Cuts back to Zim in the elevator with a data transmitter thing near him.

Data transmitter thing: (beeps a few times) All ranged space probes have returned.

Zim: Excellent timing! Begin data download.

Hits a button, and a hole opens up, sucking him down a chute and tearing the bear suit off him somehow. The chute deposits him in his chair, where he immediately presses another button and the tubes detach from the thing he's sitting in. The ship he's sitting in starts moving away.

Data Transmitter: Accessing data from Mars Probes. (A small screen is shown on the left of Zim, showing one of the probes) After the last probe is shown, zooms out to the outer part of the ship and the processing begins, the ship transforms and connects to a stub thing. More transforming and then you see a reflection of ZIM, along with another ship, like the ones in the beginning. Gets electrified and electricity bolts come out.

ZIM: Some of this landscape looks unnatural... as though nature was not involved in its formation. But the sensors show no life forms. Whatever wiped out these "Mars-oids" (does air-quotes) must have truly been incredible.

Zim pauses briefly.

Zim: ... Incredible enough maybe to assist in my annihilation of the humans? . Z ... GIR!

Cuts to the kitchen/bathroom. GIR is shown on the table, with a mini table in a heart chair with a pig.

ZIM: Offscreen- "GIR! Meet me in the lodge hanger!"

GIR: (puts down cup and has a cupcake mustache) I gotta go pig . I'll see ya later! Pig just blinks and sits there and makes a squeak sound. Flashes back to GIR. GIR gets on the table and breaks dishes and says in a crazier tone: "I gotta go pig! I'll see you later!" (he goes into duty mode and speeds, causing a fire and sets the pig on fire. Pig looks in horror as it is on fire.) Goes back to ZIM, and GIR floats down in normal robot form and sits by ZIM.

ZIM: "We're going to MARS!"

GIR: (squeaks with excitement)

The roof opens up and the ship starts rising up out of Earth. They speed out and pass the moon, a waning crescent.

GIR: Are we there yet?!

Flashes to Dib's house. Goes from chalkboard and then to some Mars pictures and then to Dib's computer.

Dib: (talking to Agent Darkbootie, The Swollen Eyeball Network.) The camera stations have been there for years, Agent Darkbootie. But when they didn't find any life after the first week NASAplace gave up on them. But I haven't. Look what I found. (shows a picture to Darkbootie.) This is what one of the camera (shows a Mars Probe seen in the beginning, NOT the Irken data thing.) stations looks like. (he keeps showing pictures of things that ZIM's camera thing captured pictures of.) This one was taken a couple of nights ago (shows the Irken probe) Look up here. (points to the Irken Ship.) NASAplace says this is a thumbprint. (zooms out) That is no thumbprint!

Agent Darkbootie: Hmm... You've done well, Agent Mothman. But the Swollen Eyeball needs conclusions of evidence before finding anything that is confirmed alien activity. Let me know if you find more. (looks towards the audience) Darkbootie- out." (screen goes blank and Dib walks away from the computer and compares a picture of the moon (purple) and the normal moon.

Cuts back to the Voot Cruiser. Mars can be seen.. GIR is seen sleeping on ZIM's head.

ZIM: Get off my head, GIR. I have a good feeling about this lead (GIR is getting off of ZIM's head and onto the ground to sleep.) I can almost taste the humans being destroyed. It's DELICIOUS! This 'Mars' holds the key - I just know it! New words of praise will have to be invented so they can pre- GET OFF MY HEAD! (GIR was on Zim's head again) The taste of impending human annihilation grows stronger in my 'amazing' head. (makes a small, quick, munching sound with his teeth, as if to say something is delicious. GIR tries to copy him, but he doesn't do it right.

Cuts to Mars and shows ZIM and GIR landing their ship on Mars. They halt and GIR goes flying out of the ship. ZIM comes out normally with protective gear on when he walks around. He presses a button on his neck and it makes a bubble-like helmet go around his head, which then goes invisible. He looks around Mars and sees his ship, pyramids, land formations and GIR flying and messing around.

ZIM: "Now, lets find out what destroyed the people who built this ugly thing." (GIR crashes into one of the Mars Probes that Dib got a picture of. GIR lands right in front of the camera.

GIR: "Awww! It's broken!" Gir fixes the camera while ZIM is climbing up the Mars monument. It zooms out and shows the top of the mountain-like formation, and shows ZIM being almost to the top.

Cuts back to Earth and to Dib's house.

Dib: "Dad! As a man of science you at least have to admit that this picture shows something freaky and of some spooky alien origin."

Professor Membrane: "I'll say it again. Those stations haven't been monitored for 1 simple reason: (zooms into Prof. Membrane) There ARE no aliens. None able to travel to massive distance to our planet anyhow. You've been watching those transmissions since you were a baby with an ENORMOUS head. (shows how big he means) It's time to move on, son. REAL science. Try it." (grabs a mini puppet of himself and holds it for Dib to see).

Dib walks back to his own bedroom and turns on his computer and checks the cameras. 3/4 of the images are working right, the 4th is buzzy, black and white. Dib sits for a while and then GIR's face appeared on the fourth screen before going back to fuzzy.

Dib: "What was that?"

Presses button that switches to the screen with GIR on it.

GIR: It's me! Oh yeah! (shakes rear end) WOO!

ZIM (off-screen) GIR! Come here!

GIR moves camera over to ZIM, standing on a Mars rock.

Dib: AW, MAN!

ZIM: This is pointless, GIR! This planet's a ROCK! A useless wasteland. Ooh. Whoever they were they left no sign of what wiped them out. They just left these stupid structures here to taunt me. I HATE THEM! And I hope they d- (kicks skeleton) Huh, oh yeah.

GIR: I can see up his nose!

ZIM: This means more time on earth (chucks skeleton down to the rocky land, which explodes.) with a stench of humanity. Filthy Humans! (stomps angrily)

Ringing sound is heard:

ZIM: WHAT IS THAT SOUND???

Planet starts shaking, rock opens up and the gaps shine light out of the cracks. GIR hops in a crack.

Zim: GIR!

Rock opens up and tools pop up from the holes and cracks. Rock gets activated with ZIM still on it. Point opens and Zim hops off of it for his safety, falls on ground and grunts.

Zim: Ugh!

Dib: DAD! Gaz! Come see this!

Membrane: Please! No more foolishness, son!

Gaz: Your voice is stupid!

Cuts back to Mars, where a giant glow is seen from a distance with dust clouds everywhere. GIR falls off a pole thing with spears/weapons on top of a binocular-shaped pillar. GIR hops off and a clinking medal sound from him is heard. ZIM walks over and they both look up.

Zim: HUH! (gasps in horror)

Zooms out to Mars from space view. Wire-like things appear all over Mars, covering it and forming circles, and lines on its own. Holes get cut out, rocket engine things pop out and it starts moving.

Zim attaches GIR to him and they look up to a pilot seat at the top of the weird rock thing.

They are next seen climbing up to the seat. They settle in and Zim presses a button on the screen.

A green holographic image like the skeleton ZIM kicked earlier pops up.

Green holographic image: Welcome pilot! How ya doin'?

ZIM: Who are you! What is all this?

Green holographic image: (in a robotic electronic voice) I am all that is left of my people, an interactive instruction manual for the incredible vessel YOU are now affilament.

ZIM (puzzled) Your people were instruction manuals?

Green holographic image: no, no—huh?

ZIM: Vessel? This thing's a ship?

Green holographic image: My people work themselves into extinction converting our planet into a navigall space vessel. Using similar technology tested and proven on another, nearby planet.

ZIM: What other planet?

Green holographic image: That's not important right now.

Dib: Another planet?

ZIM: Why would you do all that?

Green holographic image: Because it's cool. (starts smiling)

ZIM: (starts to talk, but GIR cuts him off.)

GIR: Mm-hmm.

Cuts to the back of the planet. Blue fire appears and it blasts off. The sky for the 3 of them changes from Mars background to the stars of the solar system. A rock falls on Mars and GIR goes flying.

GIR: AAAH!

Zim looks behind him.

Cuts back to Blorch.

Almighty Tallest Red: The Invader behind this important first victory is... Uhhh...

Random Irken dude with green eyes and purple robe: (whispers to Red) Points to a passage with Invader Skoodge in it.

Skoodge stands there, wipes some dirt off himself, straightens his back and smiles proudly.

Red: Invader... Skoodge? (looks at Purple saying Skoodge.)

Silence is heard, small murmur is heard among the Irken crowd.

Video camera-type machines surround Skoodge.

Red (whispering): Ah, this can't be right! That can NOT be the poster boy for IRKEN galactic conquest! He's so... short!

Purple: And ugly! I mean, look at him!

Skoodge walks forward, with camera-bots still following him.

Skoodge: Greetings, my tallest! As the invader responsible for this planet's downfall, I get to launch traditional cannon sweep. Right?

Red: Um... Yeah. Uh-

Skoodge: So that no Irken food has to come into contact with any unsafe or alien filth! Who-ah! (makes farting noise)

Red: Um, yeah. Well, there's a NEW tradition now!

Purple: Man, you're ugly!

Skoodge: AND short! (looking proud)

Red: The new tradition is that you get to BE launched as part of the cannon sweep!

Red summons a large cannon, which pops out of a closed hole in the wall of the ship, smoking. Purple and Red open the door.

Purple: That's right. In you go!

Skoodge struggles to get in, so the two Tallest give him a little assistance by slamming the door on him. Skoodge is seen looking out the window of the cannon.

Red: Commence Organic Sweep!

Skoodge is seen being shot out of the cannon, screaming all the way.

Skoodge: AAAHHH!!!!

Purple and Red are watching in content.

Purple: You! (pointing at random Irken) Your name is now Skoodge, conqueror of Blorch.

Cameras surround the randomly chosen Irken, whose name is Grapa; he smiles proudly due to his new-found fame.

Cut to Blorch, where rats are seen fleeing from the lasers of the Irken ships.

Purple and Red are shown laughing, watching the lasers.

Purple: ;;(while laughing) Rem- Remember the time ZIM called us, (laughs) and he was--- (stops to break down) he was covered from head to foot in meat? (still breaking down laughing)

Red: (laughs) yeah, the meat ended up fusing to his flesh and (heh) and he almost went blind when it invaded his eye sockets!? (breaking down laughing and pulls his eyelids down imitating ZIM.)

Both: (laughing)

Red: Meat!

Both break down laughing AGAIN.

Red: Meat!!!

They keep laughing until an alarm goes off.

Red: Oh, it's Zim, it's him. Hold on hold on. Shh! Stop it! (keep laughing)

They luckily stop laughing just in time for Zim to call.

Zim: Greetings, Tallests! I bring more evidence of my unbelievable skills.

Purple: (choking while laughing) More evidence!

Zim: Yes! I've made an exciting discovery: The planet Mars is actually a giant spaceship (shows drawings) built by floating heads. I am going to fly it to Earth (drawing of ZIM on Mars going to Earth and smashing it) where I will roll it around on the surface, squishing all the Earth life and leaving it free for us to conquer (Purple's eyes are watering and his lip is quivering, looking as if he might explode of laughter) without resistance!

Drawing goes away.

Zim: Prepare the fleets, for I will be firing the first falling of Earth's organic sweep TOMORROW! Invader ZIM- signing off! (salutes as he signs off)

Purple and Red practically die of laughter.

Zim is seen on Dib's computer, flying the Mars spaceship. Dib stands up heroically, jacket flapping in the breeze and the light glinting off his glasses.

Dib: I have to stop him!!!!!

He bolts for the door, but finds his dad there, holding a puppet of himself.

Prof. Membrane: Where are you going at this hour?

Dib: Oh, you know...

Professor Membrane's puppet: To save the Earth?

Dib: Yes. (in an annoyed, embarrassed way)

Bolts out the door.

Professor Membrane: My poor, insane son. (shakes his head and looks at his puppet.)

Cut to NASAplace, where Dib is approaching.

Dib: Dooropenoritstheendoftheworldweregonnadurr--- (he babbles so you can't tell what he just said.)

The guards of NASAplace look at him in a confused way.

Guard sticking his head out a window: Was that the uh...

The other guard: Mm-hmm. (nods)

First guard: ...Crazy UFO kid?

Other guard: Yep.


2nd half

Goes inside NASA PLACE and scientists are seen everywhere.

NASAplace worker: (spills coffee on his shirt when he sees Dib) Oh, no... DIB.

Dib: I know what you're gonna say, but you have to believe me this time! Mars is a giant spaceship and it's being piloted by an alien—

NASAplace Worker: Is this that... Zig you always talk about?

Dib: ZIM! He's activated the face on Mars and now he's flying the whole planet like some horrible- WOW, this sounds REALLY STUPID. Doesn't it?

NASAplace Worker nods his head.

Dib: Anyhow, the floating head said that there was another (shows the janitor's TOP SECRET iNASAPLACE! TRASH thing) planet, and that they modified it with giant engines. We have to find out which one! (janitor guy listens, narrowing his eyes as Dib talks)

Nasaplace Worker: Alright, let me get this straight.... (spills coffee on Dib, who cringes and steps back) He's flying... eh. uh... (spills ALL his coffee on the floor out of his heart mug) What's he flying?

Dib: (pointing) There! Look! You can see him on the Martian camera feeds!

Heads over to the Martian camera feed, but a guard pops out of a hatch in the floor.

Guard: Sorry, kid. Since they got the funding we're not even allowed to look at the camera feeds.

Different NASAplace guy: (alarm goes off) WHOA!!! It's ooh, uhh, uh, I think it's an asteroid! It's HUGE! (does a hand motion for the word "huge") Uh, and it's heading straight for us!!!

Dib: It's ZIM! Just look at the screens!

NASAplace Worker: (idly spills even more coffee all over himself) Okay, do we have to go through the whole "funding" thing again?

Zooms out to Mars with Zim at the helm, laughing maniacally.

Zim: People of Earth, prepare to taste the mighty foot of my planet! (laughs like a maniac as Mars speeds ever closer to Earth)

Cuts back to the Tallests, who are playing with two balls representing Earth and Mars in a mocking reenactment of Zim's plan.

Purple: I'm ZIM! (smashes Earth ball with Mars ball) I'm squishing out all life! (they both start laughing)

Red throws the Mars ball at Purple and they break down laughing again.

Back at NASAplace: Dib walks out of the Mission Control room and bumps into the janitor.

Dib (crashes into the janitor) Wha?

Janitor: I believe you. I think I can help you. (pointing at Dib's not-so-big head)

Dib: What're you gonna do? CLEAN me?

Janitor: The other planet you mentioned, the one you said was also fitted with the giant engines? It can only be MERCURY! (digs something out of his pocket and looks at it. But before he looks around to see if anyone is watching. It's a map. Shows Dib) There! The BUTT on Mercury! (pointing to the butt on Mercury) Unless there are known structures on the face on Mars, one just as mysterious.

DIB: Yes. That's it! Now how do I get to the butt?

They go into a door marked NASAPLACE JANITORIAL; the nose of a rocket dominates the small space within the room.

Dib: What is it?

Janitor: It's an old monkey ship from back in the days when they used to shoot monkeys into space.

He opens up the monkey ship, presses a button and smells the air within.

Janitor: Ahh... you can still smell the monkey.

Dib: Does it still work?

Janitor: (does hand motions and Dib looks downwards) I've done all the repairs myself.

Places Dib in the Monkey ship.

Dib: Why would you help me?? NOBODY ever helps me!

Janitor: Let's just say... my eyes are swollen.

Dib (realizing): Agent... Darkbootie???

Dib starts up the ship then puts on a space helmet. Janitor Darkbootie shuts the Monkey Ship and gives him a thumbs-up. The agent walks out the door as the ceiling and the rocket fires up. The roof opens and the Monkey Ship starts leaving Earth. The words USA are seen on the top of the Monkey Ship. Some security guards run around for safety when they see Dib's ship launching into space.

Goes back to Mars with GIR humming cheerfully as he makes a little face in the Mars sand; first he adds an eye with each hands, then uses his open hand for the mouth. Once done, he idly starts stabbing the face with an Irken pennant.

Zim: This is taking too long! I told the Tallest to bring the fleet tomorrow! At this rate we won't be done with our destroying by then! There must be some boosters... Ah, here! (finds one that looks like a cupcake, with a trapezoid bottom and waves at the top; he presses it and the action happens) Hold onto something, GIR!

GIR stops what he is doing and hangs onto himself. They go at a high speed, and ZIM starts laughing evilly. GIR is seen getting blown by their speed and the Mars dust is seen hitting him. GIR screams. GIR gets blown all the way onto Zim's head, where he clings for dear life. GIR laughs along with Zim, as does the Martian hologram.

Dib: (heard yelling)

Zim's eyes get huge while the others are still laughing.

Zim: That sounded like- NO, it couldn't be.

(they continue laughing)

Chaos ensues back on Earth as people run in fear. 

Man: We're all doomed. Doomed!

On Mars, Zim happily eats a sandwich while GIR pilots them toward Earth. On Earth, a group of people look up in wonder at Mars approaching in the sky. The man from earlier returns.

Man: Hey! We're all doomed, remember?!

The group of people proceeds to scatter and scream in fear. Mars catches fire as it enters Earth's atmosphere. GIR and Zim laugh; Zim is now piloting and GIR is using the fire to roast a weiner. Zim's own head has begun to catch fire.

Zim: Now... slowing to SQUISHING speed!

Zim presses some controls as the ever-nearing planet casts a shadow over a large area on the surface of Earth. People hide in sewers. Courtney Lily, sitting at a park table with a soda can, looks up at Mars and screams in terror as it draws near him. Mars makes contact with the can of soda on the park table in Courtney's hands and he screams violently as if in excruciating pain as Mars slightly crushes the can.


Courtney Lily: Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, oh, no, no! No!!

In the street on the other side of the fence of the park, a child cries over an ice cream cone she dropped in the road. She picks it up and puts it back in the cone and licks it happily before it falls over again, and she continues crying. Courtney screams throughout in the background as Mars still lays still on his soda can.

He shields himself as another planet knocks Mars back into space. Zim grunts and GIR smiles as Dib flies above them.

Dib: Not while I'm around, Zim! Don't tell me you actually thought you'd WIN this!

Zim: Oh, you horrible interfering Dib!

Dib pilots Mercury in a panel wedged between two mounds of rock mounted on a platform on the planet's surface.

Zim: Taste the mighty doom of my moons!

Zim presses two buttons on his panel and two mechanical claws extend from the planet and grab the moons, hurling them at Dib. Dib pilots mercury behind Earth, out of Zim's view. Dib comes back around and charges at Zim. Zim and GIR scream as Mercury nearly crushes them, and chases them into the sun. Zim and Dib drive alongside one another.

Zim: You shouldn't have interfered with a superior force, Dib. You'd have been better off just staying on your planet and getting squished just like everybody else.

Dib: Well, you shouldn't have bothered coming to Earth, because I'll stop you at every turn.

They continue chasing each other and head toward Saturn. Zim holds on as hard as he can as he and Dib circle around each other. Dib gets behind Zim, and Zim decelerates to knock himself into Dib. He leaves a giant hole in Mercury and accelerates again. Dib is stuck in between the two mounds. Zim screams when he sees Dib approach in the mirror.

Zim: GIR, go take care of the Earth-boy.

GIR jumps over to Dib and sits next to him. He playfully begins pressing random buttons on Dib's panel.

GIR: What's this do? What's that do?

Mercury is steered in another direction. A car horn is heard.

Dib: No! Aaah!

Zim: Maybe that little robot isn't such a bad evil minion after all.

GIR: What's that dooo? What's this do? What's it do? What's it do?!

Dib touches GIR's shoulder.

Dib: Hey! Go away.

GIR: (beat) Okey-dokey!

GIR runs off, and Dib turns around, pursuing Zim once more. Zim's antennae raise as the planet approaches him from behind. 

Zim: Let's see if you have the piloting skills to maneuver through the asteroid belt, feeble Dib thing!

Dib stays behind as Zim ventures into the asteroid belt, laughing evilly.

Dib: That's just stupid.

Zim: Look at that cowardly human! We'll see who's stupid when... 

Zim looks ahead of himself and screams as rocks come toward him. They fly past and take chunks out of the ground, destroying part of the flight deck he's sitting in. He runs over to his Voot Cruiser, raises the windshield, and flies away as he is pelted with rocks.

Dib: You might as well return to your home planet, Zim. I've recorded this whole thing; irrefutable proof of your existence. There's no way you can...

Dib looks behind him and notices detached and ripped wires.

Dib: That little robot! He took my cameras! No!!

Inside the Massive. Red lights flash as they receive a transmission.

Purple: It's Zim. Are you ready for this?

Red: I just started breathing from the last one.

Zim appears on-screen.

Zim: Mission accomplished, my Tallest. I have rid the solar system of planet Mars.

Purple: I thought you were trying to destroy the Earth.

Zim (nervously): Oh yes, that. You heard wrong. This time I was trying get rid of Mars. You know, just a little warm-up before I destroy the humans. Yeah, see, I'll do Earth next. I'm an unstoppable death machine, you know. Well, Invader Zim, signing off.

GIR swings on a wire behind him, yelling happily. The transmission is cut, and the entire room erupts in laughter. Red and Purple nearly fall over.

Purple: Unstoppable death machine! Did he say, "unstoppable death machine"?

Red: He needs a little warm-up!

Purple: A warm-up, a warm-up. Oh, please. Please, did he say, "unstoppable death machine?"

The camera pans down and in front of Red and Purple, revealing the screen behind them and above the crowd, displaying the ships surrounding the massive. Mars tears through the ships on the screen as Red, Purple and the entire crowd face the other way, too rapt with laughter to notice.


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