This page is about the transcript. For the episode, please see Roboparents Gone Wild.
"ROBOPARENTS GONE WILD"
Record Draft, Revision 1 by Rob Hummel
INT. ZIM'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM
We push in on the closet door. ZIM'S voice can be heard very faintly from somewhere deeper in the base. We cannot make out what he is saying. We keep pushing in to:
INT. ZIM'S HOUSE, ROBOPARENTS CLOSET - NIGHT
The closet is eerily lit from below. As the camera pushes in the floor, we see the source of the light. A glowing hatch on which is printed: ROBO-PARENTS TUNNEL - KEEP CLEAR.
ZIM (O.S.) How many times have I told you not to touch anything that sounds like it can explode? GIR, are you listening to me?
GIR laughs. The camera pushes through the glowing hatch to:
INT. DOOR ANSWERING MATRIX
ZIM and GIR hover with FLOATY-PAKS in front of a damaged power cell nexus. Behind them, clamped to the wall, are the RoboParents, inert. ZIN fiddles with the power cell.
ZIM That's good. You laugh, GIR, while I fix your mistake. You know you're supposed to be MY assistant! I'm surprised you didn't completely destroy this power thingy. You could learn a thing or two by watching me-
The power cell overloads unleashing shmillions of IRKEN ZIGA MOOPS into ZIM and GIR, who flail like ragdolls. Arcs of energy lick at everything in the narrow silo, including the Parents, whose eyes glow with the power. The overload subsides, leaving ZIM and GIR charred messes.
ZIM (CONT'D) My work here is done. GIR, carry me back to my lab. I'm in horrible pain.
GIR (HAPPY AS EVER) Hee hee hee. Pain.
The two float into the darkness below. RoboMom's head turns to watch them, her eyes still glowing unnaturally. (From this point on, the eyes glow with this strange light)
ROBO MOM (STUTTERING WITH MADNESS) D... Did YOU see that explosion, honey??
ROBO DAD THAT BOY. What have WE told HIM??
INT. ZIM'S HOUSE, THE KITCHEN - LATER
The refrigerator door opens as ZIM and GIR rise up on a lift from within. Their heads smash through the shelves of food, and juices. ZIM flops out, hurt, as GIR just sort of rolls out gracelessly. The lights flicker oddly in the room.
ZIM (JUICY) Hmm... looks like some damage was done to the rest of the house. GIR...
The Roboparents stand in the kitchen doorway.
ROBO MOM (STERN) Son? Why'd you lock your own parents in a bottomless tube of darkness like that?
ZIM Parents? You're ROBOTS! And what're you doing out? Go back to your storage-
Robo Mom bursts INTO TEARS.
ROBO DAD (ANGRY) Don't call your mother a robot!
ZIM What is wrong with you?! Have you lost your...eh...the power surge. It did something to your brain chips didn't it? You're actually acting like grotesque human parents now? I'M INGENIOUS!!
ROBO DAD So, getting good grades, are you son?
ZIM Okay okay, no need to put on a show for ZIM. Save it for when there are humans around. Now, begone! I'm very busy!
ROBO MOM You don't talk to your dad like that! A certain little green boy is going to bed without dinner tonight!
ZIM Bed? IRKENs don't sleep. The very thought is disgusting! Looks like you guys still need a bit of reprogramming. COMPUTER? PROGRAM INTERFACE.
A maraca-like object floats into the room. It beeps and boops, and glows from the round tip. ZIM holds it up to RoboMom until she snatches it away from him. She turns it on him and fires a beam of weird laser energy at him.
ZIM (CONT'D) HEYY!! QUIT IT! GIVE THAT BACK!
ROBO MOM (HEAD SPARKING) Not til you do them dishes.
ROBO DAD Yeahhh. You tell 'im, MA!!
ZIM looks over to the sink. There is a pile of filthy dishes there where once there was none. GIR walks up to the sink still scooping a fistfull of spaghetti off of a plate and tosses the plate into the pile.
GIR THAT'S GOOOOD SPAGHETTI!!!
ZIM ZIM DOES NO DISHES!! ARE YOU MAD?!!
ROBO DAD Are you defying your mama?
ZIM (ANGRY) Are you defying your ZIM?
The RoboParents stand over ZIM, looking all menacing. ZIM backs toward the toilet.
ZIM (CONT'D) Um... okayyyyy....
He climbs into the toilet.
ROBO MOM NO, no... NO toilet time until you behave!
ZIM I'm just going down to my room. There are things down there to...fix you, so-
RoboDad cries now, dumping old spaghetti onto his head and rolling in misery. RoboMom glares at ZIM.
ROBO DAD HE DOODN'T LOVE US!! WE raise him and give him a toilet to play in, and he wants to fix us! I'm gonna find us a son that loves us!!
RoboDad storms out of the room.
ROBO MOM (LAYING ON THE GUILT) You made your daddy a saddy! Shame on YOU! Now, you GO TO YOUR ROOM!!
INT. ZIM'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - LATER
GIR (in doggy costume) lays on the floor watching TV. ZIM sits in a cardboard box in the middle of the living room. "ZIM'S ROOM" is written on the side of the box. RoboMom sits on the couch with the sparking tool in her hand. She watches him carefully. ZIM takes a delicate step outside of the box. Robomom blasts him with the laser tool. He squeals.
ROBO MOM You stay in your room until your father comes home.
ZIM HE'S NOT MY FATHER!! (she zaps him again) AGH! QUIT IT!!!
The front door opens and RoboDad steps inside carrying a GROWLING half monkey, half badger the size of an easy chair. Robodad's clothes and self have been shredded by the insane little monster. ZIM looks on in shocked horror.
ROBO DAD Look what I got, honey! Our new boy.
He unleashes the beast into the house. It immediately leaps into the kitchen, screaming and leaving a trail of shatter as it goes.
ZIM MY BASE!! NOOOO!! STOP IT!! STOP!!! Stop! Stop! Stop!
GIR looks away from the TV as the hybrid beast vanishes into the kitchen, where horrible destructive noises are heard. GIR SQUEALS, jumps up and runs into the kitchen.
The beast roars and throws GIR out against the front door. GIR laughs and runs back for more.
ZIM (CONT'D) GIR! No more destroying! Obey your master! Obey ZIM!
GIR stops running. He looks from ZIM to the kitchen and back to ZIM. He is anxious to return to the destruction.
ROBO MOM Go on, freakish doggy thing. Go and play with your new master. Go and play with- Wait, what are we going to call him?
ROBO DAD Let's call him ZIM!
GIR looks one last time at ZIM, who gives the robot dog a sad, pleading look. The lure of the destruction is too much for GIR and he runs back into the kitchen. The parents put their arms around each other and look on happily.
ROBO MOM Aw honey, ZIM'S like the son we never had.
ZIM I'm ZIM! Get that thing out of my house!
ROBO DAD You're OLD ZIM. We love new ZIM now.
ZIM But it's a dirty, insane monster and it's destroying everything!
ROBO MOM OUR BOY AIN'T DIRTY!!!
EXT. ZIM'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
The door opens and ZIM is dropped onto the front porch. Inside the house there is much GROWLING and the sounds of things BREAKING. The door SLAMS shut. Zim gets up and pounds on the door. It opens and the maraca juts out, SHOCKING him. ZIM, in shock, walks over to the living room window and looks in. The Badger/Monkey leaps around with terrifying fury. GIR leaps around after him.
GIR MWHEEEHEEEHEEE!!! YAAAY!!
They both plow into Robodad. RoboMom "Awwws" as though it's the cutest thing in the world.
ROBO DAD (HEARD THROUGH THE WINDOW) Hey look, our little ZIM's on TV!
He points at the TV and sure enough, the badger/monkey is on the screen. GIR turns up the volume.
TV ANNOUNCER (THROUGH THE WINDOW) ... Dinky, the city zoo's only half monkey, half badger hybrid, was stolen today. Dinky is part of a program that lets KIDS create the animals THEY'D like to see. A worldwide search has begun to find the thief and a large reward is being offered for information leading to Dinky's return...It's a sick world.
Dinky lets out a shrill howl and burrows into the floor.
ROBO MOM Toilet ZIM wasn't ever on TV.
ZIM turns away from the horrifying scene. He stumbles away. It starts to rain. Suddenly, he turns and faces his house, determination on his face.
ZIM I will find a way back in. My mission must continue! There is no stopping me! I will never give up! YOU DO NOT TOY WITH INVADER ZIM: THE RELENTLESS!!
OVER BLACK: "ONE HOUR LATER"
INT. BOX CAR
ZIM lives in a boxcar with a hobo (the hobo's name is HOBO and he's got a big, bushy beard). It's only been an hour but ZIM looks as though he's been living here for years. He's weathered and filthy. The hobo has a weenie on a stick and he cooks it in the fire between them.
ZIM ...and that.