Fandom

Invader ZIM Wiki

Simon Says "Doom" Transcript

713pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

For episode page see Simon Says Doom.


This is the script for Simon Says Doom as of November 27, 2001.

SIMON SAYS "DOOM"
#27b
Record, Revision 1 By Courtney Lilly

FADE IN:
INT. SKOOL—DAY

Ms. Bitters lectures to a bored classroom.

MS. BITTERS
And fire consumed the whole of the town—all because of another careless cow.

Mr. Elliot pokes his head into the class. Bitters fumes.

MR. ELLIOT
Hi Ms. Bitters. Sorry to interrupt, but
I'm here to talk to the kids.

MS. BITTERS
Make it quick! You have one minute.

Ms. Bitters whips out a menacing electronic timer. It starts
ticking down from sixty seconds.

MR. ELLIOT
Great! Hi kids. I'm Mr. Elliot and I'm
here to talk to you about the "Bee A Good
Neighbor" program. It's for taking care
of orphans, and we could really use some
volunteers! Whaddaya say? Huh?
(there's no response)
You get to wear bee suits. Get it? "Bee
a good neighbor."
(still nothing)
I'm not leaving 'til I get a volunteer.

The clock ticks down to twenty seconds.

THE LETTER M
RUN, Mr. Elliot! RUUUN!!

MR. ELLIOT
C'mon kids, it's fun. Right ZIM?

PAN to ZIM sitting at his desk in a ridiculous bee suit. Dib
starts to pay attention.

DIB
Wait, how would ZIM know?

MR. ELLIOT
Well, he's already part of the program.
Joined up weeks ago! Isn't that right?

ZIM shrugs with humility.

ZIM
I just love the smiles on their
disgusting, drool-covered faces. Oh,
those adorable little dolphins.

DIB (SUSPICIOUS)
Orphans.

The clock is dangerously close to zero. A shadow starts to
form around Mr. Elliot, as though something large is above
him.

DIB (CONT'D)
Mr. Elliot, I'll volunteer. SOMEONE's
gotta watch ZIM.

MR. ELLIOT
Great! Thanks a lot kids.

Mr. Elliot, seemingly oblivious to the threat, leaves just
before the clock strikes zero. The class lets out a SIGH OF
RELIEF. Someone throws wadded up paper at Dib.

INT. ORPHANAGE—DAY

Mr. Elliot walks a bee-suited Dib though a decrepit
orphanage.

MR. ELLIOT
Thanks for volunteering Dib. It's good
to see kids taking time to help others.

DIB (NOT REALLY LISTENING)
That's what I always say. Where's ZIM?

MR. ELLIOT
Wanna find your little friend, huh?
Well, he's over here.

INT. ORPHANAGE GAME ROOM—CONTINUOUS

Mr. Elliot takes Dib to ZIM's room. ZIM, in a bee suit,
teems with snot-nosed four-year olds. ZIM, initially not
noticing Dib and Mr. Elliot, screams in disgust.

MR. ELLIOT
Oh, look how the kids just love him!

DIB (QUIETLY, TO ZIM)
You're not going to get away with
whatever you're up to ZIM.

ZIM
Foolish, paranoid Dib. I am here for
the children. The joy of this writhing
mass of giggling poop meat is all ZIM is
after.

MR. ELLIOT
Well put ZIM. Keep up the good work.
(to Dib)
C'mon Dibbers. Let's go.

DIB
But, ZIM-

MR. ELLIOT
You kids can play later.

Mr. Elliot ushers Dib from ZIM's room. Dib protests.

DIB
I'll be watching you ZIM!

ZIM
Watch all you want Dib, but...

A kid comes up and tags ZIM.

KID
You're it.

ZIM (HORRIFIED DISGUST)
Aaagh! MUCUS! I mean...good one.

Mr. Elliot and Dib leave the room. Once alone ZIM begins to
drop his child-loving facade.

ZIM (CONT'D)
All is going exactly as I planned...

ZIM lets loose a long, evil laugh. His laugh is muffled by
children crawling on his face. He begins to cough.

ZIM (CONT'D)
Ack! Get off of me!
(the kids don't respond)
Heed me! I am your game leader! Off!
(suffering under the weight)
Why do you not listen to ZIM?

KID
You didn't say "Simon Says."

ZIM
Who is this Simon and how does he wield
such power? Explain to ZIM!

KID
Okay, watch. Simon says, get off of ZIM.

The kids climb off ZIM. ZIM's astonished. He smiles evilly.

ZIM
Perhaps I have an even better plan...

INT. ORPHANAGE BASEMENT—CONTINUOUS

Mr. Elliot walks Dib into the basement.

MR. ELLIOT
That bee suit's been enhanced with all
sorts of orphan helping features: A
navigational antennae, night vision,
offensive odor spray cannons.

DIB
What about the wings?

MR. ELLIOT
Oh well, you can make them flap, but
they're really just for show. A flying
bee suit for volunteers would just be
insane.

Dib looks confused as Mr. Elliot leads him into a giant room.
In the heart of the room sits the Atomic Baby Changer, a
loud, monstrous baby changing machine.

MR. ELLIOT (CONT'D)
This is the Atomic Baby Changer. The
most important part of the orphanage.

As Mr. Elliot talks we see a crying baby in a diaper on a
conveyor belt. The baby disappears into a chute. The
machine whirs and chugs for a moment or two before the same
child, now smiling and licking a lollipop, appears from the
other side of the chute.

MR. ELLIOT (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Modern babies need modern diaper
changing, and this machine does it all.
Your job is to stay down here and keep an
eye on the core temperature.

DIB (POINTING UP)
But ZIM's up THERE.

MR. ELLIOT
I know you want to hang out with your
friend, but it's important that you stay
down here...

Dib tunes Mr. Elliot out. Dib sees Mr. Elliot's head turn
into ZIM's head, but still with Mr. Elliot's body. In Dib's
mind ZIM taunts him.

ZIM
Hey Dib, have fun with your pitiful
little job while I go about ending life
as you know it!

DIB
You won't get away with this ZIM!

Dib snaps out of his little daydream. Dib's little outburst
startles Mr. Elliot.

MR. ELLIOT
Dib, were you listening to me?

DIB
Um... yes.

MR. ELLIOT
Good. Cause a Baby Changer meltdown
would be disastrous. Have fun.

Mr. Elliot leaves. Dib sits and watches the Atomic Baby
Changer gauge for a beat or two. It's dreadfully boring.

DIB
Forget this.

Dib heads upstairs.

INT. ORPHANAGE—CONTINUOUS

Dib sneaks around the mysteriously empty orphanage.

DIB
Where is everybody?

INT. ORPHANAGE GAME ROOM—CONTINUOUS

ZIM lords over a group of zombie-like orphans.

ZIM
Simon says, roll on the ground!

The orphans roll on the ground. ZIM laughs an evil laugh.
Dib enters.

DIB
What's going on here ZIM?

ZIM
Hello diaper Dib. You're just in time to
witness my latest and most genius plan.
Orphans, Simon says, bark like a moose.

The kids are confused. After a beat, they make ASSORTED
BARNYARD NOISES. Dib LAUGHS.

DIB
You're planning on using "Simon Says" to
take over the world?

ZIM
Yes. Mm-hm. Clever, don't you think?
Now, behold my victory! Orphans, take
over the world for ZIM!
(the orphans do nothing. Dib
scoffs at ZIM)
Oh yes. Sorry... Simon says, take over
the world for ZIM!

The children run out of the room like crazed zombies,
knocking Dib over in the process, and scatter into the city.

DIB
WHOAH! Wait a minute!!

Dib goes running for the exit, chasing the orphans.

EXT. ORPHANAGE—CONTINUOUS

Dib gets outside just in time to see the last of the kids
stumble out into the world. ZIM follows, admiring his evil,
as the children go about wrecking havoc in ZIM's name.

ZIM
Yess...yess...very good.
(ZIM chuckles to himself)
And to think, this was Plan B.

DIB
What was plan A?

ZIM
Oh, nothing. But rest assured it was
brilliant. Not as brilliant as this, but
brilliant nonetheless.

ZIM rambles on as Dib watches in horror as the kids rock cars
with people in them, disobey "keep off the grass" signs, ride
people's pets. ZIM notices Dib's panic.

ZIM (CONT'D)
You'll never catch them all, Dib!

A nearby orphan lifts a power box, exposing large power
cables. Dib sees this and runs to the cables.

DIB
I'm not giving up yet ZIM!

Dib activates the feeble wings on his bee suit. ZIM laughs.

ZIM
You'll never get off the ground with
those!

DIB
They just need a little boost!

Dib pulls one of the power cables from the ground and hooks
it into the bee suit. The wings go into overdrive and Dib
begins to hover. His suits sparks. Dib's smile is huge.

DIB (CONT'D)
HAH!! WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!

Dib's smile turns to sheer terror as the bee suit rockets off
faster than any boy in a bee suit should know.

DIB (CONT'D)
GEEEAAAAAAGH!! OH NO!! OH NO!!

EXT. THE CITY—CONTINUOUS

Dib gains some control of the insane bee suit and flies up to
a zombie orphan scaring players at a football game.

DIB
Simon says, never listen to ZIM again.

The kids stops chasing players and wanders back to the
orphanage. Dib flies off. The players watch him go.

FOOTBALL PLAYER
Thanks crazy bee boy!

MONTAGE

(Throughout this whole bit, Dib is flying like a lunatic,
slamming into walls and looking barely in control. To each
kid he says: Simon says never listen to ZIM again.)

Dib flies up to a kid tipping over a garbage can and tells
him to stop. The kid stops.

Dib flies up to a group of kids uprooting lawn gnomes. Dib
tells them to stop and they do.

Dib flies to a kid atop a jungle gym, King Kong style. The
kid swats at circling jets. Dib tells him to stop. He stops.

EXT. ORPHANAGE—CONTINUOUS

Dib, exhausted after rounding up orphans all day, flies the
last of the orphans back to the orphanage and drops him off.

DIB
There, that's the last one.

ZIM looks irritated, but not as angry as one might expect.

ZIM
Nice work, Dib. I guess you showed me.

DIB
You won't be using orphans to take over
the world. Not on my watch.

ZIM
Hey, what can I say?

Suddenly, the earth begins to RUMBLE with a great intensity.

DIB
Oh no... the diaper changer.

ZIM
HAH! YES. You stepped right into my trap
Dib. That was my plan all along, to get
you to forget about the diaper machine!

DIB
But you've been here for weeks. You
could've just overloaded the machine
without my being here to try to stop you.

ZIM
YES! INGENIOUS!!

DIB
No, ZIM, it's dumb..oh..GOTTA GO!

Dib races off to stop the diaper machine.

INT. ORPHANAGE BASEMENT—CONTINUOUS

Dib runs, trying to avoid the impending stink catastrophe.

DIB
It smells awful down here.

Dib gets to the machine and sees the core gauge reading well
into the red. He franticly looks for a shutoff switch.

DIB (CONT'D)
I can't remember how Mr. Elliot said to
shut the machine down.

ATOMIC BABY CHANGER COMPUTER
Twenty seconds 'til core meltdown.

Dib panics, randomly presses buttons and screaming. Mr.
Elliot walks in.

MR. ELLIOT
Hey Dib, I was just coming to check on
you...

ATOMIC BABY CHANGER COMPUTER
Five seconds 'til core meltdown.

MR. ELLIOT
Oh my goodness.

Mr. Elliot runs to the machine and presses an overly large
emergency button. The Atomic Baby Changer shuts down.

ATOMIC BABY CHANGER COMPUTER
Meltdown averted. Have a nice day.

INT. ORPHANAGE—LATER

Dib sits among a pile of dirty diapers. Mr. Elliot scolds
him. ZIM looks on.

MR. ELLIOT
Since it's going to take a while for the
Baby Changer to recharge, you'll have to
take care of these by hand.

Mr. Elliot leaves.

DIB
Okay... well NOW I've really, really
thwarted your evil plan, ZIM.

ZIM
That's what you think. Little did you
know that from the very beginning my real
plan was for you to be forced to clean
mountains of baby filth. ZIM WINS!!

Dib shakes his head. A monster of a child walks up to Dib.

MONSTER CHILD
UH OH! I GONNA DOODIE!

Dib looks at ZIM, still congratulating himself.

ZIM
(giggling)
ZIM, you're genius. ZIM. (extended
dialogue)

DIB
Hey kid, Simon says, give ZIM a hug.

The kid goes tottering after ZIM.

ZIM (O.S.)
No, no! Get away from me! Oh, oh, ooh,
you hideous child beast. Oh oh. Your
meat stinks.

Dib smiles.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.